When I look back upon my life...

... it's always with a sense of shame, I've always been the one to blame. So sang the Pet Shop Boys.

I on the other hand,when looking back, only feel shame for some of the things I have done. I would be lying to say otherwise. On this my 39th birthday, I have to be honest and say that there are things in my past of which I am not proud and which I regret with all my heart.

But I can also look back on my life with a sense of thankfulness for all the good thinks that God has given me. I am particularly grateful for this last nine weeks of holiday here in the UK.

A particular verse of scripture has been going round in my head and it is John 10 v10 'The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.' Now some Christian will interpret this verse to mean that God will give us big houses, large cars and vast fortunes. I am certain that this is not the case.

What I think it means is that, what ever we are doing, we will know the presence of God with us and that he will sustain us and bring us joy in that situation. I have known the fulness of life over these past few weeks, whether travelling in business class, or cooking three meals a day for 60 people for a week. Whether sitting in an expensive restuarant in Prague, or cleaning the loos. God has blessed me greatly in the last few weeks, have had the chance to catch up with my family and friends, some times planned and sometimes by 'accident' by the checkout in Sainsburys or by the milk fridge in Tesco! I've had chance to work, rest and play over this holiday and I am very grateful to God and to all my friends and family for the wonderful time I have had.

I really thankful for all the people that God has brought into my life and the love and support that I receive from them, I am only sorry that I haven't been able to see you all this time, 9 weeks just isn't long enough!!!

The car comes to collect me in just under 7 hours so I had better head to bed and catch a few hours sleep. So what will my 40th year hold, I just don't know but I know a God who does!

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown.
And he replied:
Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light, and safer than a known way.

So let the adventure begin...