Looking back, looking forward...

 I start this posting with a couple of quotes from earlier entries

"One of the most challenging parts of the Christmas Story, for me, are the words above, spoken by Mary to Gabriel, after being told she would be the mother of Jesus.

Mary was probably no more than 14 years old when the angel came to her. She lived in a society where an unmarried mother faced being stoned. Yet when Gabriel outlined God's plan to her, her response was, 'I am the servant of the Lord. May it be to me as you have said.'

I have to be honest, this has not always been my response. There have been times when I have struggled to accept God's will and even time when I have actively worked against. However, every time I hear Mary's words, I am challenged once again.

My prayer for 2010 is that I might be the servant of the Lord, and be as willing as Mary to accept God's direction of my life."

"As to what else this year may hold, I am happy to say 'I don't know'! But this I do know, that as I go out into the darkness I can put my hand into the hand of God and that shall be better to me than light and safer than a known way..."


My reason for quoting these passages, is that this year has not quite panned out as I was expecting.  When I wrote those words at the beginning of the year, I thought that I knew where I would be living and working and also what the year would bring.

However, all my plans have been thrown up in the air and now I am certain of very little.  The reason for this turmoil is that I made some decisions back in March that have change almost everything that I had planned.


Following discussions with the Principal at BOS I decided that I would resign and move on from the school.  My main reason for this was that I wished to spend more time in the classroom and less time in administration and paper pushing.  Whilst I have enjoyed some of the aspects of being Head, I have missed the more direct contact with the students.


My decision to leave now left me needing to find a new job.  I knew that I did not want to return to the UK, it's a nice place to visit, but I don't want to live there!  I also really wanted to stay here in Pakistan if that were possible.  I can't quite explain why I love this place so much but I do!


I started to look through job adverts on line and began applying for jobs in a variety of locations including Zambia, Malawi and Egypt.  I then had a coversation with a returning member of the congregation at the cathedral.  Colin had returned to Karachi to be founding Principal of a brand new school.  

I arranged to go and met him the following day and a few days later I was offered the position of Head of Science at Barrett Hodgeson International School, which I was happy to accept.


Although, this new post gives me exactly what I wanted, to stay here in Karachi, there are aspects of the job that are difficult.


One is that that the new school year will start for me on the 26th July, which will only give me a four week summer holiday.  Now I know for many of you, that you haven't had long summer holiday since you left school, for me this will be the shortest I have ever had in 40 years!


It also means that for the first time since 1991 I will be unable to serve as part of a Scripture Union team.  Submerge 2010 starts on July 24th, the day I will be flying back to Karachi.  


Also my plan to visit Thomas in Cairo to celebrate my 40th birthday has also had to be cancelled.  There just isn't enough time in four weeks to visit England and Egypt.  Though I am hoping to get there later in the year, but that will depend on when my holidays fall.


So the future is not what I thought it would be.  God has taken me at my word and taken me by the hand and is leading down the path He would like me to tread.  And how do I feel about this?  Excited and terrified at the same time!  I am excited by the opportunity to influence the setting up a school. Excited at having access to a brand new building that is fully equipped, including a swimming pool and gym.  Terrified by the number of questions that only have the answer, 'I don't know'!


As I said to a friend in an email a few weeks ago, 'it's hard when God asks you to live out all those sermons on trust that I have preached over the years'!  But of this I am convinced, God can be trusted and I know that whatever He calls me to do, He will be there with me.  It doesn't mean it will always be easy, but it does mean that I will not be alone.


I would very much value your prayers, as I put my hand into the hand of God and step out into the unknown...